


An Unfamiliar Concept

by ghostlingerie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Jesse McCree, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Justice Siblings, M/M, Men Crying, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlingerie/pseuds/ghostlingerie
Summary: The thing is, Hanzo loved McCree. He really did. But the concept of it scared him, with reasons he couldn’t entirely understand. He also said things that he shouldn't've, and didn't mean in the first place. It's been hours, and he hasn't been able find McCree throughout the watchpoint. Hanzo eventually finds him though, and approaches him with a lot on his mind.
Relationships: Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	An Unfamiliar Concept

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta-d, let's gooooooo! i legitimately have no idea how participles work, i hope you enjoy the ride folks

The memory continues to flash in Hanzo's mind.

He said things that weren’t true in the kitchen that morning. It was only supposed to be Genji in that kitchen; he certainly wasn’t expecting McCree of all people to be there.

The thing is, Hanzo loved McCree. He really did. He loved the way he smiled, the way he said witty comments and flirted like he breathed. The way he smiled at him the other night, in his room, indulging in each other's presence, shuffled in McCree's bedsheets. But the concept of it scared him, with reasons he couldn’t entirely understand. Genji, by what has to be the most unfortunate timing, had asked him about just that thing. Not just that, but him and McCree’s relationship as well.

In a frenzy of his own mind’s idea of self defense, he proceeded to firmly say things regarding him and McCree, and McCree himself that were completely false. Genji hummed, nodded, then left in silence.

Of course, be it because of whatever gods Hanzo had unknowingly angered that day, sheer bad luck, or coincidence, McCree had been listening in to this conversation between him and his brother. Hanzo's mouth stayed partially agape as he looked at the pained expression on McCree's face before he schooled it into one of neutrality, and left the room, saying. "See you at work, Shimada."

Hanzo stayed in the kitchen for a good long while, stewing in his own regret, before he set his way to look for him again.

It's now three in the afternoon, and he still hasn't found him. The conversation's still fresh in his mind. He's asked the other agents, but to no avail. He's searched the place they used to drink every time they wanted to distract themselves from the things in their mind. He wasn't there.

It turned six, dinner was in an hour, and he still couldn't be found. He told the others he wouldn't be joining them for that night. Part of his hope of McCree bothering to want to talk to him dims.

It was eleven when he approoached his brother, the one person among the agents he didn't ask about the whereabouts of McCree. He didn't want to have the humiliating time that Genji surely would give him once he asked, but he didn't care about that. Genji hears his footsteps and turns around, giving him a cheeky smile. "Yes, brother?" Hanzo's serious demeanor stays, which makes the expression on Genji's face falter. "Do you know where McCree is?" Genji shakes his head, and Hanzo quickly passes by him. Of course he doesn't know where he is, what is he thinking?

A quick shout of "Wait," stops his strides. He turns, lifting an eyebrow. "Check this location," Genji pulls out his phone and taps on it for a few seconds before Hanzo's own phone buzzes. "It's where some blackwatch agents use to go to stand and do- well, nothing much, really. But I know," Genji hesitates, "I know Reyes used to go here. If he did, maybe Jesse did." Hanzo takes his phone, looks at the location, and nods at his brother. "Thank you, Genji."

Hanzo reaches the place Genji told him to go, and lo and behold, McCree was there. Funnily enough, Hanzo realized, this place is not too far from his own room. The second room he checked.

McCree seems to notice Hanzo's presence, and proceeds to walk away, although at a significantly slower pace than he did when he left the kitchen. Hanzo follows. They keep walking like this, to the point where they reach the corridor near his room, when Hanzo decides to call out to him.

“McCree.”

McCree continued to walk forward, not bothering to look back, ignoring Hanzo.

_“Jesse.”_

He hesitates, then puts the bottle under his arm, digging a hand into his pocket. “It’s fine, Shimada. I get it.” The click of the lighter attempting to light sounded, sparking. The clicking continues as a fire fails to start. “Just fuckin’ light, goddamn-“ he stops trying, and puts the lighter back where he took it from, slowly drawing out a sigh.

“Please let me explain.” McCree laughs. There was no mirth at all in that laugh, filled instead, with an unfamiliar hurt, which Hanzo was taken slightly aback by. “No explanation necessary, I get what you were saying, loud and clear. I’m gonna do you a favor and get outta your hair.”

Hanzo only managed to get a glimpse of McCree’s eyes, but they seemed to be puffy, as if tears were present just moments ago. The fact that Hanzo had affected McCree this much felt like a spear through his heart. The empty laugh, the use of his last name, everything stung.

“Stay, Jesse. Please. I’m sorry, wholeheartedly, and I’ll do anything to have at least a bit of your time.”

The silence he received in response was deafening. They both don’t move for a while, Hanzo clinging onto the corner of McCree’s serape like it was a lifeline, and McCree staying frozen.

Another shorter sigh escapes McCree’s lips, and he turns around, back to the wall, and slides down. With his head down, he uses the bottle to tap on his side, prompting Hanzo to sit on the floor beside him.

The silence stretched on for quite a while, with Hanzo suddenly at a loss of words, and McCree fiddling with the bottle. This wasn’t like any of the moments of silence they’ve shared before, the tension between them could be cut with a knife.

“Make it quick.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whatever apology you’re gonna give. Spare me the long song and dance of you going ‘I didn’t mean it’, or ‘I’m sorry you had to hear that, but yeah, I never thought of you as anythin’ more than a friend in the first place, and having taken my heart and torn it into pieces in a few words’.” McCree’s voice trembles further, taking hiccuping breaths in between each sentence. Hanzo has to fight not to begin tearing up himself. “In fact, you can just- you don’t even have to say it in the first place. It’s fine. I’m used to people leavin’ me. But damn, Hanzo, it’s-”

McCree seems to struggle to meet Hanzo’s eyes, and he does end up meeting them. His vision ends up blurring from the tears. He looks down again, chuckling through choked sobs, rubbing his arm against his eyes. They keep flowing down, staining his flannel. Hanzo reaches out, hesitates, then places a hand on McCree’s thigh. He feels him tense, then relax. McCree’s sobbing figure leans on him, easily easing into his embrace.

“You mean so much to me, and so did Ana, and Reyes, and… It ain’t their fault, I know, I’m sorry, but fuck, if it doesn’t hurt so damn much.” McCree’s grip on the bottle loosens, it clinks against the floor, and his hand goes to Hanzo’s. “I know you don’t want me here, or with you at all, but gimme a moment.” Hanzo feels the tears he held back begin to prick at the corner of his eyes and stream down, weaving his hand into his hair.

“Jesse, it was a misunderstanding. It was me just- I was being a coward.” he gulped down, and through hitched breaths, he goes “I love you. So much. I really, really don’t know how to tell you how much you mean to me. Your smile, it- it’s beautiful, your laugh makes my heart race. The other night, I couldn’t believe that I was in that position. With you, I mean. I had been imagining it for quite a while.”

McCree’s shaking lessens to a significant degree, and his thumb seems to circle around the arm it held. His hitched breaths seem to steady somewhat, and Hanzo assumes he’s heard what he’s saying. At this point, the trepidation he has about letting Jesse know exactly what he thinks of him has completely been lost.

His voice quivers as he continues, “I love you so much, it scares me. When I talked to Genji, I was being a fool, I see that now. Everything I said then was the opposite of what I truly thought of you, and I regret having lied. I apologize. I’m willing to scream just how much you mean to me on rooftops, if it comes to that.” McCree tips his head up to meet his gaze. It’s filled with hope, which makes the beat of Hanzo’s heart go twice as fast. He’d give anything in the world to keep the flame in his eyes going, and to never see the way his eyes were mere moments ago. The one filled with hurt. “Do you really mean that, darlin’?”

Hanzo gives him a sweet smile before leaning in and gently pressing his lips to McCree’s for a moment, a chaste kiss. He weaves his hand further into his hair, and cradles his head. McCree’s lips are soft, in contrast to the admittedly dry texture of Hanzo’s. Neither mind at all, instead, bringing each other deeper into the embrace.

Hanzo opens his eyes- when had he closed them?- and looks at McCree, who was now giving a small smile. He’s only seen this smile once, when they were still lying in bed together. McCree had flicked his eyes up and down Hanzo’s face, gave him a kiss on the forehead, then gave him that smile.

It wasn’t like the big, beaming smiles he gave daily. Nor the smirks he let flash across his face around the same rate as his grins. This was something entirely different. If anything, Hanzo would call it the physical embodiment of perfection.

McCree takes Hanzo’s jaw and kisses him again, and again, a chuckle or breath in between every now and then, then finally trails kisses up the bridge of his nose, in between his eyes, till he presses his lips to his forehead. “You’re doin’ things to me, sweetpea,” he whispers.

“You’re doing things to me too, Jesse.” Hanzo steadies his breath as they sit in the hallway for a while, never really moving, still clutching onto each other. At some point, they both realize how silly the sight of them knocked out on the floor would appear silly to anyone who happened to pass by, so they grunt and chuckle while heading towards Hanzo’s room, hands gripping each other and only letting go ‘till they reach the room. "I love you," Hanzo says, before McCree reflects the sentiment and enters the room.

He says it again and again- they both do- through whispers, moans, hitched speech, and sleepy mumbles. They seemed to never stop repeating it to each other- and they both loved it.

The minute Pharah wakes up, she only takes a few minutes more to change and brush her teeth. By the time she finishes, she quickly makes her way to Shimada's room, feet heavy on the floor, but not too heavy that it'll wake anyone up.

She clearly remembers the state Jesse approached her in last night, disheveled, hand giving the Jack Daniel's he held a death grip, and a smile that immediately sent a bolt of concern up Pharah's spine. A frown would work lightyears better than whatever was plastered on his face right now. Careful questions were thrown his way, only to receive an empty laugh in return, and a wave of his hand. He possibly answered one of her questions, although unintentional, a muttering of names. 'Hanzo' being one of them. Noticeably, a pause followed the mentioned of the name. A knock on the wall using the bottle, a choked, sharp inhale, and Jesse had left the room.

Firstly, her concern raises. That was already there, and was only continued to be amplified as she paced throughout the watchpoint. Then, anger quickly followed. Her aimless pacing ceased as she walked to Shimada's place, balling her hands into fists. She was ready to give him an earful for hours depending on whatever the hell actually happened to get Jesse to look like... that.

Pharah raps the door for a hot second, stops when she sees the digital display on the door says it's open, and opts to open the door anyway. She doesn't question the door's open state. She takes a few steps into his room, only to find it empty. He must've left recently. Gathering her thoughts as best she can as well as taking a few breaths, she realized what she was doing.

She was in another agent's room. Yes, this is important, but this is probably stepping over a line. She'll settle this tomorrow, she finally thinks, stepping out of the room as his door silently shuts behind her.

And here she was, in the same spot she was yesterday. There was absolutely no rehearsal to what she was about to say, just preparing herself to give him a piece of her mind. A part of her feels somewhat apologetic, but just a second of a memory of Jesse's appearance last night, and that part stays small. This time, she hesitates in knocking. She looks at the digital display, and sees it's locked this time. So he is in his room.

She takes a quiet step forward, hand just hovering over the door, when she hears a giggle. _What?_

Suddenly, her mind disfunctions with the sudden wave of confusion. Sure, it was just a giggle, but from that room? And with Shimada's voice? What in the fresh hell is-

 _"Han, you look so damn charmin' when you do that."_ A playful snort of contempt. _"Stop that."_

 _"What? Callin' you cute? Too bad, cause you're gonna be stuck with me for a real long time."_ What she assumes (and, at this point, absolutely is without a shadow of a doubt) to be Shimada replies with _"And I wouldn't have it any other way."_

Pharah's brain, or, rather, whatever has been left of it, has now been utterly dashed. Her concern and anger has now been replaced with confusion and a hint of embarrassment. What conversation had she missed last night? Hell, what happened last night? She also felt it was an intrusion of something important, and the want to leave slowly settles.

Her want to leave dials up to an eighty when she hears a cacophony of noises (that she'd very much like to remove from her memories right now, thank-you-very-much), as well as the low comment of _"Let's finish what we were doing last night, shall we? I am familiar with the absurd saying, 'save a horse, ride a-'"_

Shimada doesn't get to finish that sentence, because Pharah, red in the face, begins running away from the offending room. She can give the stern shovel talk later today. Scratch that, later this week, she couldn't face Shimada after that.

Despite her wanting to shove her head down a bucket of water floating with ice, hoping it does something to give her amnesia, a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. At least she knows they're doing better.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what ya think, and thanks for reading! and it only dawned that this is my second fic that contains pharah accidentally hearing stuff she isn't supposed to hear lol


End file.
